Confessions of a Perfectionist

For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt the need for everything to go and be…. perfect.  It’s like I have this continuous need to control the outcome of every possible situation– To make the best meals, keep the house clean and organized, do my best work, maintain my blog, push myself to be prettier, healthier and more fit.  Everything must be just right.

Somehow, I’ve gotten sucked into perfectionism and the belief that if I live perfect, act perfect, and look perfect 100% of the time, I’ll be free of shame or judgement.

but…

I am wrong… and I am not alone!

The societal norm is to be perfect.  I will admit, right here and now, my default mode is perfectionism.  I’m constantly leaning toward the desire to be perfect at work, in my relationship, as a parent, and at life in general.  But we all know perfect doesn’t exist.  Nonetheless, here we are (myself and thousands more included), spending an incredible amount of time and energy trying to be everything to everyone and control every aspect of life.

Having children has definitely lessened my expectations of living a perfect life.  It’s impossible to maintain a model marriage, time with my family, appearance, home, job, and hobbies around the clock and still be happy!  Somewhere in the midst of following my kids around with a swiffer wet jet and cleaning up toys as they emerge from the toy chest and making sure the beds are perfectly made to military standards, I realized I was trying way to hard to make things seem perfect.  At that point, I realized I was tired of riding the same old never ending, always more to do, unsatisfactory roller coaster and no one cared if my house looked like it a pottery barn magazine, except for me!

 

Now, I’m not saying I stopped caring, because my inner critic still cares and yes, it does bother me (at times), but I have learned, with time, to not worry about the small things and that if I would just relax and wait until the kids settle in for bed, that I could save myself the headache and time by only picking up toys and mopping the kitchen floor once throughout the day.  As for the beds, they get made once in the morning and that is all.  If the kids destroy them, then so be it!

Though managing the perfectionist in me is still a work in progress, I decided it was time to embrace the imperfections; to stop MANAGING life and start LIVING it!  It’s time to face facts, and be real and honest with myself.  There is no such thing as perfect and no matter how hard I try, nothing will ever be 100% perfect.

Signature

Leave a Reply